We Tried 10 Celebrity Recipes. And Then We Ranked Them (Because Some Are Gross)
Fodor’s celebrity cookoff.
Celebrities have long been searching for ways to market themselves as multifaceted. Sometimes it’s an alcohol, and other times, if we’re lucky, it’s the sharing of their (self-proclaimed) famous recipe—a quick way to assure that, yes, just like you and I, they too come from humble beginnings. Which star has cemented themselves as a bonafide celebrity chef and which star should stick to Postmate-ing? We tried 10 different celebrity recipes, ranging from fried chicken to “sludge,” to determine the best, the worst, and which A-list hunk owes me a new microwave.
Photo by Kevin McCutcheon on Unsplash
10. Robert Pattinson’s Pasta
At the beginning of quarantine, we were blessed with a much-needed moment of chaotic-good. In an interview with GQ, actor Robert Pattinson revealed the recipe to his newly-invented (and now famous) quarantine pasta, and the internet collectively went: Wait, microwave? He calls the recipe Piccolini Cuscino , meaning “Little Pillow,” but I’ll simply call it “Warm Sugar” and “ Carbs From Hell.” This recipe calls for pasta in the microwave, cornflakes (yes, the cereal), slices of cheese, three-times your recommended daily value of sugar, sauce, and (obviously) a hamburger bun. And after you’ve gathered your ingredients, don’t forget your lighter and tin foil (and to close your blinds, lest you want neighbors to assume you’ve got a Breaking Bad moment happening in your house).
After producing a smell from the microwave I’m not familiar with—we had our little lumpy and unappetizing pillow. It was as unpleasant as it was unappetizing (though maybe knowing the ingredients and process plays into that). To its credit, it managed to be both crunchy and soggy—an incredible feat for a dish that should be neither.
9. 9lokknine’s Brick
When Follow My Recipe invited Orlando rapper 9lokknine on to make his favorite dish, the video quickly became popular as the dish in question was Brick. The appeal of this dish is that you can get just about every ingredient from your local convenience store or 7/11 for under $7—the unappealing aspect of this dish is the Brick itself. You crush up Cheetos and ramen, cut up jerky and pickles, and then meld it all together into a brick-form in the Cheetos bag via boiling water.
This is the definition of a pantry meal—and it serves its purpose of being simple, using what’s there, and being edible. So, perhaps this ranks so low because you have to pour practically boiling water into the small opening of a Cheetos bag. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer a lower risk of third-degree burns when cooking.
8. Grimes’ Sludge
It’s not that Sludge is particularly bad—it’s just so incredibly unappetizing to make (so, perhaps the key to enjoying these celebrity recipes is having no idea what goes into them). Grimes shared this easy recipe when revealing to Harper’s Bazaar what she eats in a day —while this might not be the most outlandish thing she calls a meal, it is a Grimes original, so we had to give it a try.
Sludge is Grimes’ appointed name for this dish, and it’s fitting given that this combination of couscous, a “ton” of vegenaise, a “ton” of Sriracha, celery, tomatoes, and steamed spinach can only be described as sludge-like. The texture is anything but appetizing and the only real flavor comes from the Sriracha. So, if you’re a fan of heaps of Sriracha and mush, this recipe is for you! Otherwise, there has to be a better way to use these ingredients.
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7. Natalie Portman’s Leeks and Homemade Croutons
Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman took to Instagram to share one of her “favorite meals,” and in doing so made a bad case for veganism. Her recipe for leeks and homemade croutons isn’t bad—but it also isn’t a meal the last time I checked.
The appeal of this dish is the simplicity. It requires few ingredients and little prep: cook some bread, boil some leeks, and you’re done. It’s so easy, in fact, it’s hard to even call it cooking. Ultimately though, Natalie’s liberal use of the word “meal” amounts to nothing more than a sad salad that will leave you disappointed, hungry, and wishing for more flavor.
6. Kourtney Kardashian’s Avocado Smoothie
If in recent years, you’ve tuned into an episode of Keeping up With the Kardashians , you may have noticed fewer massive salads and more of this green drink. Kourtney, the eldest of the Kardashian sisters, is rebranding—no longer a Miami, New York, or Hamptons party girl, Kourtney is now a health guru, with a website eerily reminiscent of Goop to prove it. One of the first steps to becoming a health expert? Why, creating your own signature green drink, of course.
This recipe has gone through modifications over the years thanks to the launching of new Kourtney-official products, but we went the traditional route and stuck to the original, no sponsored products here , avocado smoothie. The drink is creamy and sweet, with avocado doing what it does best and hiding behind other flavors. Ultimately, however, this ranks in the bottom half because I’d rather eat my avocados in solid form (and there are some seriously good recipes to come).
5. Saweetie’s Ramen
You’ll be getting none of your needed nutrients here and just about a week’s worth of sodium, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try the Tap In rapper’s ramen—in fact, I implore that you do. Saweetie took to Instagram to introduce us to our new late-night, not-so-sober meal of choice.
Showing us how she does it, Saweetie pours some seasoning and heat into her cup of noodles, which she then strains and adds to a Hot Cheetos bag. While a bite of noodle with a bite of crunchy Cheeto might not be my texture of choice, you can’t deny that the flavor is there and that the entire bag will be polished off Oscar Isaac-style.
4. Snoop Dogg’s OG Fried Bologna Sandwich
As we come to three and four, we’ve entered the battle of the sandwiches, and honestly, it’s all about preference. For me, Snoop Dogg’s bologna sandwich ranks fourth because bologna, as good as it is fried, still isn’t my favorite of the sandwich fillings (but that doesn’t mean it isn’t good).
Snoop Dogg’s fried bologna sandwich calls for bologna, bread, American cheese, mustard, and butter (lots of butter). Not only does the bologna get fried in our vat of melted butter, but so does the bread—rather than a traditional grilled sandwich where the bread gets slightly buttered and then cooked, this rendition creates what is essentially Texas Toast. It’s greasy (a napkin will be needed), it’s cheesy, it’s cheap and easy to make, and (most importantly) it’s undeniably tasty.
3. Chrissy Teigen’s Tuna Melt
Given that Chrissy Teigen has made the transition into celebrity chef so gracefully you might have assumed it’s what she always did, it’s no surprise one of her signature recipes has made it into our top three. Chrissy’s tuna melt, like Snoop Dogg’s fried bologna sandwich, is good in its own right but made all the better by the sheer simplicity. Oh, I can go into my pantry and fridge and have almost everything I need already there? By allowing me to avoid the grocery store, you’ve already scored yourself points.
On top of ease, this sandwich is just good . Chrissy’s tuna might be from the can, but it’s not bland. She adds onion, relish, mustard, mayo, and plenty of seasoning so that, even if this sandwich wasn’t topped off with a pile of cheese, it would be good (though the cheese does make it even better).
2. John Legend’s Legendary Fried Chicken
I’m sorry, Chrissy.
John Legend took over wife Chrissy Teigen’s YouTube to show us exactly how to make his signature fried chicken. Long story short: it’s really good. Brining the chicken overnight allows for the flavor to set in, and the simplicity of the breading (no buttermilk or egg-wash here) gets the chicken nice and crispy. To top it all off, there’s a spicy honey butter that turns this from good fried chicken to incredible fried chicken just asking to be topped with coleslaw and placed between a bun. Why number two and not number one? you might ask. Well, frying is hard.
1. Meyhem Lauren’s Shrimp and Grits
And taking home the coveted title of Fodor’s Best Celebrity Chef is none other than rapper and known-foodie Meyhem Lauren. If you’ve watched any of Vice’s F*ck That’s Delicious , you’ll likely find it unsurprising that Mayhem, who surrounds himself with good friends that know good food, can cook.
In collaboration with Munchies, Lauren showed those of us at home how to cook up his favorite shrimp and grits. While seafood might seem intimidating—especially for those who tend to prefer theirs pre-fried, frozen, and in stick form—this step-by-step guide gives you the tips and confidence necessary to prepare seriously good (and never undercooked) shrimp. In addition to perfectly pink shrimp, you also have the sauce—made out of pantry staples—that is so tasty I want to cook everything in it, and grits made with so much butter and cheese, they melt in your mouth. This recipe was so good-looking that afterward, I thought, “I made this and I need a picture to prove it. ” It’s the recipe to spice up your quarantine and make you feel like less of a home-cook and more of a chef.
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